Having a child at a young age is not something I have jotted on my list. If my memory serves me right, I have not even planned on getting one because of several issues – body changes, financial ineptness, psychological matters, etc.
Though I have failed to realize it as early as it should’ve been, I now know that it is part of God’s amazing plans for me. I admit, until now I somehow feel bitter every time I see pictures of my former colleagues, places I’ve been and should’ve been, and food that I have eaten and should’ve eaten. Sometimes, I wonder how far would have I gotten if not only I have conceived a child. I know the “blame game” should never be played and I am not a type of person who regrets a lot, thus I simply take my mind away off those things.
This morning just made my decision to let go of things and just be happy become stronger. I read a blog from teachwithjoy.com regarding how life had become when she got married at a young age. I feel like we almost have the same experience – living pretty comfortably though not living in a luxury but now, I have to stick to a budget, a budget that I often fail to follow.
That’s why jealousy and disappointment easily arise each time I see snaps and photos of such wonderful places, sumptuous food, clothes and a lot more. As an ambitious woman, I have always dreamed of having a lot more. Though at some point I can afford it, I can’t be selfish not to think about saving and placing the money where it should be.
But then, realizations sunk in and I know that despite being heedless, I should be grateful.
- I have a child, a tiny precious little boy who made me realize that there’s always more to life. A son who motivated me to become a better person, mom, daughter, friend and a soon-to-be wife. A son who is now my best friend, confidante, and mentor. He teaches me without saying a word (of course, there’s tata tata which I cannot decipher) but leaves a message deep down in my mind and heart. If not because of him, I may never know how to be happy in the simplest of life. Just seeing him smile makes me feel like the luckiest woman alive.
- I may not have what I want – fine clothes, tickets to places, gadgets, cars and a lot more but I have what I need. HE always provides what I/we need. God has never forsaken me no matter what I’ve done in the past. There are times that I feel like He has abandoned me but then I have always been wrong. He never left and with that, I am grateful.
- I have experiences, a whole lot new experiences which I can use in the near future. Being carefree even before lead me to a box full of experiences which made me stronger and wiser. I know I am still on my way to committing stupid ideas and decisions (sorry baby for the S-word) but I know that those will be useful. Those will also become great stories to tell someday.
I am on my 20s and being young, I believe I still have a lot more places to discover, more room for improvement and better, better things that await. I WILL NEVER GIVE UP. Life’s too beautiful to waste on perceiving negativity. Sooner, I’ll be flying high.
To be truly grateful and happy, there should be a balance of contentment in everything. Dreaming about what you want is not bad, but being frustrated because you don’t have it is. So instead of fretting, be thankful (always be thankful) of what you have. It’s not about comparing your life with the less fortunate but try to see it in a more positive way: you are more abundant and capable, thus you should be grateful. If it seems like they have more than what you have, you’ll never know what struggle they are also having. Everyone has their own struggle so there’s no room for envy and jealousy. It’s just a matter of how you will see things and work on it. Be contented in a way that you don’t feel bitter when you see people becoming successful, rather be happy for them.
But, that doesn’t mean that you will be contented with what you have. If you have dreams and ambitions, chase it. One day, what you have right now will take you there. Cheers!
Perks of Being a Mom 